Disenchanted
by blacknails512
Summary: -As I struggled to keep my tears in, I managed to choke out a few words, "Goodbye, Max." Then I dissolved.-  Magnus and Alec visit Max's resting place. Rated T for one certain word. Oneshot. R


**A/N- Oh yeah, biznitches (that's not a word) I am Back! Booyah! Ahem… Anyways, this is a oneshot, but only because my stupid brain can't think of anything else. Damn you brain. Damn. You.**

**Warning: be prepared for sadness….**

**Disclaimer- I do not own the Mortal Instruments because if I did, it would totally suck. Cassandra Clare writes so much better than me, it's ridiculous. **

**By the way, for dramatic effect, listen to Disenchanted by My Chemical Romance. I listened to it while I was writing this and I think the tune of it really goes with the plot. You don't have to, but it might set the mood…

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Together, we walked down the stone pathway. Hand in hand. Like always. No one else was there, just Magnus and I. It was a beautiful, sunny day. Though what we were doing didn't call for such a day. It made me wonder why the sun was even out. Why it came up every single day, no matter what. Some days don't deserve a rising sun…

Finally, we reached our destination and I gripped his hand harder. My knuckles turned white. I realized suddenly that I didn't want to be there anymore. I wanted to turn around, run home, and never come back. I hadn't been to that horrid place in exactly a year. I had forgotten how awful it had been and it all came flooding back to me, like a huge wave of emotions crashing over me. I took a deep breath, attempting to steady myself for the time being.

Magnus knelt on the ground, coaxing me down with him. He placed the comic books we had gotten just a few hours earlier next to the tiny grave, a sad ghost of a smile on his face. He gently took the flowers from my hand, as I was practically frozen in place, rooted to the ground. He set them right on top of the comic books.

As I struggled to keep my tears in, I managed to choke out a few words, "Goodbye, Max." Then I dissolved. I fell apart on the grass, tears streaming down my face. All I could think about was, _It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault. _

I felt Magnus' arms around me, pulling me close to him. And now that I think about it, that was all I really wanted at that moment- someone to put their arms around me. Not someone to tell me it was ok, or that he was in a better place, but someone to hug me and not a say a thing, understanding my pain but not voicing it.

I sobbed harder, wishing Max were back. He was so young; he hardly got to live before he died. How was that fair? How? And what kind of sick person kills a child? While thinking about how the bastard I left alone with my brother ended up being a murderer, my sorrow and guilt quickly turned to anger, but back to guilt. _I _had left them alone. To go fight demons. I had been so stupid, so naïve, to disregard my hunch that there had been something wrong with that guy.

_It's my fault. _

_It's my fault. _

_It's _my _fault._

Magnus tightened his hold on me until I had calmed down. "I know what you're thinking," he muttered once my waterfall of tears had turned to a steady trickle. "You think it's your fault." Still not being able to speak, I nodded, wiping at my eyes.

He firmly made me look at him. "I don't want you to _ever_ think that's true," he said. "Do you understand me? What happened to Max was in no way your fault." I still didn't believe him. It would take a lot of convincing to make me think otherwise, but Magnus was not giving up. "Sebastian, Jonathan, whoever he is, is the one to blame. He's a twisted person who doesn't deserve to live."

He pulled me up off the ground and brushed away my tears with the pad of his thumb. I know it hurt him to see me cry, more like bawl, and I tried to calm myself for his sake. My suspicions were proved correct when he said, "I hate seeing you like this. It kills me."

"I know," I said, looking anywhere but his face. I felt like such a crybaby.

"I want to be able to help you," he said, taking both of my hands. "Whenever you fell like this… please come talk to me, don't bottle it all up."

"Alright," I sniffled. As I looked towards the grave one last time, I thought all about Max. How his glasses were too big for him and slipped down the bridge of his nose. How he loved those comic books. How all he wanted to do was grow up and be just like his big brother…

I turned away, feeling the waterworks coming again. Magnus noticed this I guess, because all he said was, "Let's go home."

So together we walked, down the stone pathway, hand in hand.

Like always.

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**A/N- So, how did you like it? I cried slightly while writing this. Let me know how you feel in a review. I would greatly appreciate it. And thank you for reading this in the first place :) **

**-Ella **


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